I am a mother of 2 and I was married for 19 long years. I am now divorced and in a way I am starting life from scratch. The kids are old enough to be on their own, so I can focus on me and my needs. A single woman, 40 +, ready to take on the world on her own.
Walk of shame
There are those that feel I should have stayed in the marriage and focused on making it work. I had invested more than 19 years in the marriage and in the relationship, so why quite now. We have never fought or been angry with each other, so I can understand people outside the relationship questioning why we broke up.
Many felt that walking away from the marriage was a “walk of shame”. They told me that I would spend the rest of my life alone and miserable. And I could understand their concern, to some extent. After all, it is not easy to give up something and there is no guarantee that I will find something better. My life could turn out to be harder than before. So I have had to suffer through a lot of nasty looks and also nasty whispers behind my back.
Proud of my choice
For me, ending the marriage is something I am proud of and I do not feel that there is anything shameful in making that choice. I am happy living alone and getting to decide what I want to do, without anybody interfering. Not that my ex-husband was being difficult, it was just that compromise was not in his vocabulary nor did he like to take chances.
Meeting new friends
Me and my husband had a lot of friends, and a fairly active social life. However, I did not want to be known as the +1 and the one who left and so forth. So I decided to make a clean break and move back to my hometown. Here I have established myself in a rather small apartment, that I love, and I am finding new friends everywhere.
I am not in the marked for a new love, I don’t know if I ever want to fall in love again. But I am definitively loving finding new people to talk to and just relax with. But something i do love is to pay slots now and then. I found a great freespins bonus at Spilleautomater247.com and manage to win a bit so i can go on a trip with my kids.
A society filled with “me”
One to the issues I struggled with when I first started thinking about divorce was “am I being selfish?”. I think many people are afraid of being selfish or being seen as selfish. After all, if the marriage is sort of working out and you like the person you are living with, why leave? Why are my needs so important?
I feel that people today are too focused on themselves, they want instant gratification. This is not something that I feel is healthy. We need other people and we need to make compromises. However, as with all things there is a limit.
I felt that I had reached my limit and that meant that I had to do something. I could not continue on the same path. This blog is my way of letting out a bit of steam and maybe others will see something of themselves in what I am writing about or just be entertained.