There are so many different people out there who all think they have the solution to a happy marriage. Their solutions and methods can be very interesting and they can be very helpful when it comes to saving a marriage. However, it takes two to tango and it takes two to follow a method to ensure a happy marriage. That is the problem.
If you want to have a happy marriage you have to put your back into it. It can’t be something that you think about when you have a spare moment, it has to be something that is always in the back of your mind.
This also means that if you have problems or challenges in the marriage, you have to be willing to work hard to solve them.
The need for each other
Are you happy when your partner is away on holiday without you? Do you feel that coming home is draining and filled with responsibilities? Well, that is in my book a good sign that the marriage is over.
For a marriage or any relationship to work, you both have to need one each other. If you feel that you can take or leave your partner or even worse; that you prefer to be alone and spend time on your own projects, then you should consider ending the marriage. It is not fair to you and especially not fair to your partner to stay in a relationship without a need for one another.
Please note: I am not saying that you have to feel just as strongly all the time. We will all have times when we need “me-time” and we need to be alone. However, if these time periods get longer and longer, you need to re-evaluate the whole relationship.
Random acts of kindness
You need to be able to recognize the random acts of kindness that your partner is showing and also to return these small acts. If you need to constantly be praised and recognized for what you do, then you are not really doing acts of kindness. You are doing things to get credit and to get praise.
To a certain degree that is fine, but if that is what you feel all the time, what then? You are probably not getting what you need from the relationship as you are feeling insecure. You need and you deserve a relationship where you feel secure and happy. So why stay if your needs are not met?
Affection without effort
If you need to remember to give your partner a hug or a kiss, what does that say about your relationship? In a good, healthy relationship hugs and small, comforting touches are natural.
Of course there are those who are not naturally open to giving and receiving affection. These are the people that may feel strongly, but do not feel comfortable showing it.
I call them the big, silent type.
However, if the marriage is in trouble it is important to step outside of the comfort zone. Touches, hugs and kisses are vital to peoples mental health and also their physical health.